Several months ago, Jo had promised her daughter Carys that we would head down to spend a week end with her in Bath. Bearing in mind that – even though I studied classics at school – I had never been so I was keen to go – Aquae Sulis having been engrained in my brain since the late 1970’s courtesy of The Norwich School (I was not one of the celebrated scholars…. but was – how shall we say – uniquely individual….)

Oone thing that I had been keen to try this year, was to use BritStops – this is where Moho folk can stay for free at a location; the service does cost but – you know what – its not a huge amount for a membership, so this year I paid up and went for it.

(To explain – we live between Dereham and Norwich and being brutally honest – its a right bastard to get out of East Anglia – we have three roads out, no motorways, mainly single carriage way so – its an hour plus to get well on the way anywhere – and thats before you get the grockels in caravans and the farmers moving girt big trailers of sugar beet….)

Also – and here is a big thing – just before the end of May, Jo and myself became mortgage free – and that means we can play a little! Anyway, we planned to escape on the Friday evening and head down to the George Inn – just south of Cambridge and close to the M11 – this would put us close to the smoke and even though only 50 odd miles – would help a lot.

One thing that we had decided to do for this trip, was to go outside our comfort, or normal zones – especially with food – and I have to be honest – the food at the pub was lovely – Cajun chicken skewers, Prawn three ways, Smoked haddock fishcake and a hot salmon salad – bloody lovely! then back to Ziggy and a good nights sleep. (we could have used a free electricity hook up – but, it would have been to a standard UK plug…. an adapter has already been bought for the future!

So, we woke early, and decided that we would get on the road – with no electric hook up, i knew that what i had planned to cook was a no go, and Madame wanted to get something from Pret. I also thought that i wanted to get some fuel – I estimated we would be about 50 miles short so…. A few miles South of where we stayed is Birchanger Services, just off the M11. So we got some food and went to the fuel station….. diesel near home was £1.31 a litre when we left:

One pound sodding sixty bastard nine a poxy litre! I asked Jo if the robbing bastards were wearing masks when she paid!

Any way, we got on the road, and negotiated the M11, M25 and M4 before heading into Bath. Bath now has a ULEZ and we strayed into it – actually I drove through the centre of the city…. that was entertaining! Anyway, we arrived at Aquavista – Bath Marina and checked in. Carys popped along to collect assorted bits a pieces which with Jo’s help she too back to her flat – agreeing to meet me at The Boathouse a local pub…. as I wanted to get a shower etc. I am going to mention that the facilities at the camp site were excellent – lovely warm welcome, VERY clean toilets and showers – though the pitches were small, they were well laid out. Any way – ladies being chatty or whatever, I was in the pub before them. (I suffer from alcoholic constipation – i can’t pass a pub so!). After a few ales for me, and a camembert for the ladies, we caught the bus into Bath, and started to explore a bit of this beautiful city.

Bath is not a large city – but it is compact and busy, we enjoyed walking around and just looking at the architecture – Jo gleefully pointed out the Jane Austen links – though i suspect her interest was more to do Darcy’s Britches than the literature! After a pleasant toddle around, we went to the bar where Carys works and I was introduced to a Flight – a way of trying four different ales / ciders at once…

As a part of our sense of adventure, we looked around for something different to eat – we had been told of an excellent Vietnamese restaurent, but that was fully booked so we ended up at Yum Yum Thai – and both of us resolved to have something different – for myself I had some lovely delicate pork and prawn dumplings followed by a spicy little chicken dish – when we walked in, the restaurent was busy, but as we enjoyed our meal – it became incredibly busy; locals told us later that it was very highly regarded for its food.

A quick bus ride back to the campsite, and then we slept well. Following morning we had fresh baked rolls, butter and apricot jam with our Tassimo produced Latte – i look back to my early days of camping – basically sleeping along side the bike in my leathers, and then look at now where we use an air fryer for the rolls etc – and I just think how far we have come! As it was a lovely morning, we decided to walk along the river bank into Bath. The river front is lovely and we saw it being used – from rowers on the water to joggers along the tow path – and it was lovely to see the working lock!

After a very pleasant walk, and a restorative coffee, Jo wanted to show me Pulteney Bridge and we took time to view the stunning river view around it – also, we had a quick look at Bath Rugby Club’s ground – the georgian architecture is simply stunning, and the colour of the stonework adds to the “feel” of warmth.

After this, it was time for the personal highpoint of the visit to Bath – the Roman Baths – though go HERE to get tickets. Many many moons ago, part of my introduction to Latin was through the Cambridge Course – so after volume 3 I felt that i knew a bit about Aquae Sulis! But, I can honestly say that this museum blew me away – doesnt look much ffrom the outside – but right the way from the incredible vestibule of the ticket hall, until the end – I marvelled and connected with the whole site.

Those are a few images of the start of the tour – its very close to Bath Abbey, which is built on a part of the site and the city centre in general – but its when you start to go through the excavations and realise the history – and its amazing to see the objects in situ:

I also enjoyed the people we met / saw. There was one lady who’se clothes identified her – in our minds at south american – but it was picturesque! Also, we helped two ladies from the USA – obviously mother and daughter, both north of six foot and statuesque – actually like amazons but…. as we chatted, I said how sorry I was for the Orange Faced Baboon’s Arse – they laughed and also apologised…. Finally, I chatted with one of the in character performers – and I am willing to bet this lady was a former actor – she stayed in character very well – her white face was chalk, and the yellow eyeshadow was ochre – and her latin was quite good – we had a lovely chat! After some two hours we left the Baths and headed back into the city to do some retail therapy.

I had promised Jo a new bag and she wanted to get some new shoes – so we went exploring. Also, though we do not have the photo of it, I wanted Jo to have a new ring – I was expecting a hefty bill but, she found one she liked …. i have just ordered the masculine equivalent. Also, Jo wanted some new shoes – and saw a store that she rated – as many will tell you I am not very good at buying clothes for myself – either way we ended up buying two pairs of trotter covers each.

We stopped off for light lunch at a Pret – and Jo complained that her feet were hurting her. Being a kind and dutiful chap, I told her to wait where she was while I went to the nearby boots to get some painkillers and gel. Its just as well that Jo wasnt with me as I caused chaos again… I waited dutifully in line to speak to the pharmacist and then this women tried to queue jump.. Now Hold On I said – in my former thesp louder voice… I Can SEE you are Disabled, but there is a QUEUE… But I am not disabled she replied – Oh yes you are – you are both Fat and Ginger…. I think the pharmacist nearly wet herself as the shop laughed outloud….

After some analgesia we wandered up the street, and we saw Bravissimo – now a lady can never have to much nice underweart, and well – I said to Jo that she deserved to spoil herself. I stayed with her for a brief while before she had a fitting and helped to select some pretty things – then, not wanting to look like a guilty nonce, i made my excuses and went up the hill to a local hostelry…. After some time Jo joined me for a restorative Gin – then we went back toward the city centre looking for something to eat. Initially we had thought that Carys might have been joining us, so we had decided to try a burrito place. As it turns out she wasnt feeling to well, so it was just Jo and myself and a couple of interesting mexican beers. as we walked back towards the bus stop, we came across a bar where some live music was just about to start – we watched that for a while – well, two pints and then left the city, and Jo popped to do the mother thing with Carys and I, well, I was probably tired and possibly a bit emotional – so I ate some chocolate and went to sleep 🙂

So – a pretty amazing week end – and one that we had loved – but, I hear you ask – whats with the Wacky Races title? well, lets start with the Monday Morning…. Having slept well, Jo and i were up early – we had showered, had breakfast and Jo said why dont we head home earlier, to avoid the bank holiday traffic. So, stopping only to remove the TPMS sensor from my near side wheel as the battery had failed on it – and thats going to be important later – we loaded up our stuff and hit the road – heading towards Bristol to avoid the ULEZ system. This route though not as steep as the route in, was soon covered and we got onto the M4 – but as we drove down the slip road we both became aware of a rumbling noise coming from the nearside of the van – the steering wheel was not vibrating and i was at a loss – so we immediately pulled into the services there to allow me check things over and call the AA. On this occassion, we had a patrol man attend to us swiftly, and following a drive around the car park of the services where he heard the noise – he looked under the bonnet and a few places then said that it was a loose steering rod where the bracket was worn and it would need replacing BUT it was safe to drive home to Norfolk.

Thanking him we set off and after some 20 miles the noise suddenly sounded an awful lot worse – I pulled over on the hard shoulder and called the AA – I was specific in stating that the noise was such that I dare not drive further. Where we were stopped was on a bridge so we could not leave the vehicle – therefore we were a priority; The call handler told us that a recovery truck would be with us shortly. After thirty minutes the recovery truck driver called me, and said he was close by and would be with us in 15 minutes. After two hours of waiting – I called the AA again… they reassured me that the truck would be with me soon. 15 minutes later the truck arrived – Dave the driver telling me that he had gone on his break after speaking to me before hand – and was surprised that no one else had been allocated to the job…. After a good 40 minutes he got Ziggy on the back of his truck and took us to a place of safety – Cheively services. There he reassured us another patrol would come to assess us and get us home – and we did not need to do anything as we were in the system.

So – after two hours – I called the AA to get some kind of an update. The case had been closed! I will admit that I did get a tad antsy – I started to speak quite softly but very specifically, which many of my staff over the years have told is when its wise to run away and hide as I am likely to rip some one’s head off and shit down their neck…. Within 45 minutes another patrol man called Mick arrived – he took one look and stated what the problem was – and that he was very concerned that his colleague earlier had missed it, and told us to carry on driving….

The wheel was off – as in NO wheel nuts – it was only the skirt around the wheel that had kept the wheel in proximity of the motor home – and not done the hollywood being overtaken by a wheel on the road from the Wacky Races. First thing he did was to use two wheel bolts from the front near side wheel to at least keep the wheel on while it was being moved – it was easy to see that the alloy wheel it totally ruied with the wheel bolt holes all damaged. He then started to arrange the return to Norfolk. at 1930 a lovely Romanian chap took us back to North Tuddenham Garage – a local garage to us that we have used for an MOT – we finally got home at 0030….

Needless to say the AA have received my complaint, and I am expecting them to cover the costs involved -that complaint was raised on the following day. Its a real shame as the rest of the week end was lovely – and we had so much great fun, and enjoyed the city!